CADCAF

BULLYING - feeling different can often be a great cause of concern and these thoughts are transferred in our interactions with others. Be Bold everyone's different be proud of your uniqueness - there is no one on earth quite like you. When you like yourself most people follow suit. If Bullying is already happening take immediate action. Bullying Online has an excellent informative website http://www.bullying.co.uk/

CONFLICT - Additional needs often takes its toll on family life and as every individual is affected conflict is ot always avoidable. Take Control by recognising pressure points, and thinking Creatively as to the steps ecessary to achieve a happy household. Be sure that every family member however young Contributes in order to encourage personal responsibility.

DIVERSITY - is important. A caring, compassionate society embraces and celebrates Differences. Dream big, play your own unique part in this world and make it count.

EDUCATION - There are many ways to educate. Are your needs being catered for? Use you Energy in positive ways. Make suggestions to teachers, offer help and information on what has worked well for you and share successes. Most importantly keep your Expectations high.

FAMILY - How are you functioning as a family? If there is room for improvement, try sharing Feelings not always easy but essential if all members are to feel part of a nurturing team. If feelings are hard to describe or recognise have ready-made cards or images to enable everyone to join in. Make sure each person is listened to in a respectful way without interruption.

GOALS - Goals, Goals, everyone needs them after all, how do we reach our destination if we have nodirections to guide us? How would your perfect life look, feel, or sound like? What would you attempt if success were guaranteed? You can turn your dreams into reality by taking consistent action towards your goals.

HAPPINESS - Life's ultimate aim! Look around you, what do you already have that gives you happiness? Take the time to recognise those feelings of joy. Help promote Harmony by focusing on your successes and positive expectations for the future. Look for what is going well, ask for feedback and always remember how far you have already come.

ISOLATION - Are you physically isolated and/or feeling Ignored? Resolve today to change this limiting situation, you are Important and your voice needs to be heard. Check phonebooks, Internet and supportive organisations for Information that can help and assist you and use it wisely. Try and talk to one extra person weekly for a few minutes. Start building new social networks and gaining back some confidence.

JUGGLING - practicalities can be difficult enough but what about the calm balance of harmonious family life? Make a list of essential Jobs and ideal activities. For every job shared more time becomes available for ideal activities. Involve all the family and look forward to some fun!

KNOWLEDGE - Find out all you can about your family members’ special need. There are many support groups and organisations that can help with questions and offer assistance. The more you take control the less scary it is and you will be amazed at how many families are in similar positions.

LIVING - Life is for living not existing. Look for new ways to increase enjoyment of life. It might be something as simple as a daily 15 minute chill out time, having an enjoyment area in your home, or throwing a party because its Wednesday! Think outside the box and start living today.

MONEY - Having extra needs usually equals needing extra money. Contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau to check you are receiving all benefit entitlements; this service is confidential and free of charge. Check what local facilities are available for example; a child with special needs may have access to loaning educational toys from a local Toy Library.

NOW - Life is now! Not in the past or the future, you are living it here and now. When we worry about the future we are taken away from the present moment and caught up in fear. Try focusing on the now for short periods each day. Take time to listen to birdsong, stare at the views, feel the wind or the sunshine and become fully aware of your surroundings. You will know when you are in the present when you stop thinking and start being. Life is precious - enjoy every moment.

OYSTER - The world is your Oyster. Having Special Needs sometimes means focusing on lack of what we don't have. What can you or your family do that others can't? Think about that for a moment, I'm sure you can think of some things that offer unique enjoyment to you and yours. Make sure you take the time to feel proud of yourselves every now and then.

PARENTS - Parent time - what is that you may ask? All parents need to spend time relating as a couple, it is even more vital if you are living with and supporting Special Needs. Prioritise and schedule at the very least an uninterrupted half hour daily. Remember what it was like in the early days? Ask questions, find out information and relay feelings regularly.

QUESTIONS - Never stop asking them. If things don't exist that would make life better or fairer ask why not? Find out through Health Visitors, Libraries, CAB'S, who to ask the questions to. Volunteer your service to interested committees, they need your ideas you have the most experience and are likely to be the end user. Local councils are there to ensure they serve their community make sure your views are heard.

REST AND RELAXATION - We all need some. Everyone relaxes in different ways. Discuss with family and frends individual needs and draw up a Rota, to give each member at least an hour a week of pure relaxation. Feeling Refreshed enables a calmer more harmonious atmosphere for everyone.

SIBLINGS - Of children with Special Needs may feel confused if there are different rules or behaviour expectations made of them in comparison to their brother or sister. Even young children need a short explanation as to why this is. Ensure siblings have their very own Special time with mum and dad each day to avoid resentment building up.

TIME - Do you never have enough of it? Keep a written log of how you spend your time daily and review at the end of the week. This need only be in note format and will be worth the extra time of writing it down. At the end of the week review every activity however short and decide a more time efficient way of tackling things. I promise you that you will be amazed how often things get repeated and you will be able to find ways of reducing time spent on chores. Another way to look at it is turning chores into a valuable way of spending time for example, could the school run become a quality 15 minutes of family time!

UNITE - a united family is a happy one. A united group supports and strengthens. A united society is possible if we all play our part. Don't hide away play your part in ensuring that all of our differences are valued.

VICTORY - is acceptance and appreciation of our own unique situation. The bigger picture for us all is unfolding minute by minute and whichever path we are on now is leading us to our true destination. Think about how much you have learned so far, the new insights you have gained and perhaps how you can put all of that knowledge to good use for your own family and others.

WRITE - it down. Keep a family journal in a place available to everyone however young. Let each member write in each day any concerns, comments, or even better some good news and once a week review it together. This enables individuals to know issues will be addressed at a certain time each week even if it can't be done there and then. Also, it reminds us of good things that are quick to be forgotten and is an excellent memoir of family life at any given time.

EXCITING - Every person young or old needs something exciting to look forward to. What works for you? - Can't remember? Think back to childhood what did you used to look forward to with tremendous anticipation? Fun is not just for the young it is essential to remind us of who we are. Doing something exciting enables us to be in the moment and feel really alive. Resolve today to plan for excitement in your life.

YES - Say yes to life and all its opportunities. Don't cut yourself off because you think some things are not available due to the special need. You are every bit as important as every individual on earth and if some people are small minded that is their burden. Think big you are big and go and grab a piece of the action.

AMAZING - never forget how utterly amazing you are. Life has produced obstacles that you have
surmounted daily. You are stronger, more resilient than you ever believed possible. Keep your head heldhigh and your mind focused on your future successes. You have a great deal to be proud of.

Onwards and upwards…

© Contentment Coaching 2005.